自己的椅子

When Beatrix was fifteen, she began to keep a journal written in a secret code of her own invention.

Even Beatrix herself, when she read back over it in later life, found it difficult to understand.

It was not until fifteen years after her death that the code was cracked.

To the outside world Beatrix appeared a shy and reserved person but in her diary she was able to express herself openly, and she showed herself to be a strong critic of the artists, writers and politicians of the day. 

Norman was the only unmarried son in the Warne family, and was a devoted uncle to his nephews and nieces. He and Beatrix became friends, and Beatrix became a welcome visitor at the Warne family home. Beatrix was delighted when she received a letter from Norman asking her to marry him, and though her parents did not approve of the match, she was determined to accept him.
However, the wedding was not to be, for soon after the engagement, Norman fell ill and died of pernicious anaemia within a few weeks. Beatrix was devastated. She wrote in a letter to his sister, Millie, "He did not live long, but he fulfilled a useful happy life. I must try to make a fresh beginning next year."

while , when Millie came ,she said that "I can't ." several years later, she came to herself.